The Power of Support

Welcome to the next dial in on the C.H.O.I.C.E.S. series!

Welcome to the final installment of our C.H.O.I.C.E.S framework series. This edition focuses on the crucial element of Support. Throughout this journey, we've provided actionable insights and strategies for fostering personal growth. As life unfolds through interactions, events, and decisions, the significance of Support cannot be overstated. Many people struggle with or overlook its benefits, yet Support is fundamental to resilience, positivity, and growth.

The Support concept is critical in closing out the C.H.O.I.C.E.S. framework. Our goal for this issue is to emphasize the importance of utilizing it. Personal growth is not solely based on individuality, but on also recognizing when it is okay to ask for help. As the saying goes, "two minds are better than one." In this installment, we will explore the definition of Support and then review the barriers, benefits, and strategies related to seeking and offering Support. We hope that by sharing our experiences and learning from each other, we can create a more connected and supportive community.

Defining Support:

According to Webster's dictionary, Support means to bear or hold up, pay the costs, or keep something going. Also, Support can take many forms, each playing a vital role in our lives. The main types of Support are Emotional, Practical, Informational, and Motivational.

• Emotional Support involves providing empathy, love, trust, and care. A comforting hug from a friend during a difficult time can make a difference, helping us feel understood and less alone in our struggles.

• Practical Support includes offering tangible help, like running errands or completing tasks. Imagine a neighbor mowing your lawn when you're recovering from surgery—such acts address immediate needs and alleviate burdens. 

• Informational Support involves sharing advice, suggestions, and information. Consider a colleague who guides a complex project at work; this empowers us with knowledge and resources to make informed decisions. 

• Motivational Support encourages and inspires us to stay focused and motivated. Think about a mentor who consistently motivates you to pursue your goals despite setbacks; this type of Support fuels our determination and keeps us on track.

Despite the apparent simplicity of each example above, many find it challenging to ask for or offer Support. Let's explore why.

Barriers to Offering Support:

There are various reasons why offering Support can be challenging. Not knowing how to help or fearing that your Support won't be adequate can deter people from offering assistance. Additionally, worrying about saying the wrong thing or worsening the situation can also be a deterrent. Many people lead busy lives, and finding the time to help others may seem daunting and maybe you may not be in a space to offer support. The demands of work, family, and personal commitments can leave little room for supporting others. Furthermore, constantly supporting others can lead to burnout and compassion fatigue. In some cultures, offering help may also be seen as intrusive or patronizing.

In addition to these barriers, hesitation in offering Support can often stem from underlying reasons or emotions. For instance, some may feel hurt when their kindness goes unnoticed, or they never hear a thank you or receive reciprocal actions when needed. You might lend money without hesitation, but find that it is the only time you hear from a friend or family member. While there is nothing wrong with being a giver, such experiences can take a toll on a person's psyche over time. Or your hesitation to offer help was because when you needed help Support was not available. Understanding and respecting differences can help us navigate these challenges while still embracing the concept of Support.

Strategies for Offering Support:

There are several ways to remain true to yourself while offering Support. If you do not have much time, practicing small acts of kindness, such as a quick check-in text, offering a listening ear, or simply being present, can be immensely valuable and have significant impact. Practicing self-care and setting boundaries ensures you can continue supporting others without overextending yourself. Asking someone, "How can I help?" demonstrates your willingness to assist while respecting their privacy. These examples may not always align with your experiences, but the goal is to remain open-minded to another person's situation while recognizing your own needs.

Offering Support may seem overwhelming, but small tasks can go a long way. Simple actions like sitting in silence or engaging in a comforting conversation can let someone know, "I see you." Acknowledging someone's importance is invaluable, especially since people often feel that their life does not matter. Being there for someone is the most important thing you can do. Your presence shows that you care and that they are not alone. Simple acts like cooking meals or running errands can make a big difference. These actions demonstrate your willingness to ease their burden and provide tangible Support during challenging times.

When offering Support, give your full attention, show empathy, and avoid interrupting. For example, turn off your cell phone or computer to practice active listening. Active listening involves genuinely hearing what the other person is saying and validating their feelings, creating a safe space for them to express themselves. Additionally, be kind to yourself when offering Support. Many people become upset when their Support efforts go unnoticed or unappreciated. Remember, offering Support is not about you; the goal is to extend a hand.

Barriers to Asking for Support:

Admitting the need for help can be difficult. Asking for help may feel like a loss of independence, might cause fears of seeming weak or incapable, or might have a stigma associated with needing it. Society often values self-sufficiency leading people to hesitate to ask for help fearing they will be a nuisance. In these cases we worry more about imposing on others time and energy instead of realizing it is okay to ask for help. Many will avoid asking for help so often that when needed, they may not know they desperately need Support until it's too late. Moreover, people can be so used to pushing through challenges, thinking they can handle everything alone that they live in a constant state of perseverance. This behavior is an example of being in “survival mode,” but it is crucial to grow from “survival mode” to “healing mode.” “Healing mode” looks like recognizing that sometimes everyone needs help and that asking for Support is a strength, not a sign of weakness.  Support is a natural and necessary part of life. Normalizing and practicing the act of asking for help can reduce the stigma associated with asking for Support.

Strategies for Asking for Support:

Most people are willing and happy to help when they know it's needed. Therefore, open communication can alleviate these concerns. No one will know what you need until you let them know. Regular self-reflection and checking in with trusted individuals can help us recognize when we need assistance. There is strength in numbers, which is why social Support is invaluable. Letting down your wall of protection can be scary and could also open you up to being hurt. However, please realize that we cannot control the future and things could become much worse the more you neglect the need for help. Instead of avoiding Support, self-compassion, healthy boundaries, and being selective about who we call a friend (or even family) can reduce the experiences of pain or hurt. 

Be clear about what kind of Support you need—Emotional, Practical, Informational, or Motivational. Understanding your needs helps you communicate them effectively and seek appropriate assistance. Express your needs honestly and openly to trusted friends, family, or colleagues. Clear communication fosters understanding and ensures you receive the Support that best addresses your situation.

Cultivate relationships with people who can offer various forms of Support. A diverse support network provides a well-rounded foundation of assistance and encouragement. Understand that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Treat yourself with kindness and recognize that seeking Support is a proactive step towards well-being and growth.

The Benefits of Support:

Support is vital for both personal and communal growth. Emotional and Practical Support can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Support systems act as a safety net during tough times, helping individuals bounce back more quickly. Knowing we have people to rely on gives us the strength to face adversity confidently. Acts of Support create trust and deepen connections, making relationships more meaningful and fulfilling.

Additionally, having someone to talk to and share our burdens with can lighten our emotional load and improve our overall well-being. Knowing someone believes in you and is there to help can drive motivation and persistence. Supportive words and actions can reignite our passion and commitment to our goals. Therefore, providing and receiving Support strengthens bonds and fosters a sense of community and belonging.

Conclusion:

By understanding the barriers to giving and receiving Support, we can work towards a more supportive and connected world. Whether offering a helping hand or reaching out for assistance, every act of Support contributes to resilience, positivity, and further growth.

Thank you for joining us in exploring the C.H.O.I.C.E.S framework. We hope these insights and strategies will help you on your personal growth and well-being journey. Together, we can create a community where Support is readily given and received, enriching our lives and fostering a stronger sense of connection. Stay tuned for the final installment where we will recap the C.H.O.I.C.E.S journey.