Defining Boundaries and Practicing Self Care

The last two blogs were all about resilience, how you adapt and overcome adversity by managing stress and nurturing your emotional needs. It’s an essential element that can lead to personal growth and increased personal wellness. After taking the time to dive into the world of resilience and emotions, we will now explore another essential tool for building resilience: Boundaries and Self-Care.

First, we will explore Boundaries, protecting the Garden and helping to understanding self.

Imagine you are a garden – a place of growth and beauty. Boundaries are like the fence protecting this garden, keeping the unwanted out and ensuring everything flourishes.

What Are Boundaries?

Boundaries are the invisible lines we draw to protect ourselves—physically, mentally, and emotionally. They communicate how we want to be treated. While boundaries are often categorized as physical, mental, and emotional, self-help authors have added more categories. Considering we are in the age of technology, Dr. Erica proposes a new category, Digital Boundaries, to remind us to separate ourselves from our digital presence.

Why Do Boundaries Matter?

Humans crave connection, intimacy, and closeness. Yet, we also seek freedom and autonomy. Without boundaries, our freedom is compromised. Setting clear boundaries is a form of self-care, preventing stress, and promoting well-being.

Activity Time!

Grab a piece of paper or your journal and take a few moments to fill in the blanks for each of the boundaries listed below.  

1) Mental boundary means the freedom to have my thoughts, values, and opinions. What does this mean for you? _______________________

2) Emotional Boundary means for me, “I will consider this amount of ____” (i.e., Time, feelings, energy, etc.) for ___________ others. 

3) Time boundary means that I will carve out time for myself or limit my screen time. 

4) Material boundary means to me, “I will give _________ (i.e., money, clothing, food, etc.) ______ to share or lend. 

5) Internal boundary means I will define my personal space and privacy rules. For example, “I will decide to spend time alone instead of hanging out with friends.” 

6) Conversational boundary means that these topics _________ are off-limits with me.” 

7) Physical boundary means my body, my rules. I will define them as __________________. 

8) In our tech-savvy age, to protect my digital space and privacy, “I will tell my _______ they cannot take a picture of me without my consent.”

Remember, it’s okay if setting boundaries feels new or challenging. While they might be designed to communicate our needs to others, their primary purpose is to honor and protect ourselves. Embracing boundaries is a celebration of self-care and self-compassion.

You’ve been making impressive strides on this enlightening path! From understanding resilience and boundaries, we now delve deeper into an equally essential realm: Self-Care.

What is Self-Care?

If boundaries are the fence that protects our garden, self-care provides the care and nurturing to allow it to thrive. At its core, self-care is about attending to your own well-being, ensuring that both body and mind are nurtured. It’s not just about spa days or vacations but about consistently taking actions that promote overall health and happiness.

Why Does Self-Care Matter?

In our bustling lives, it’s easy to forget ourselves. However, when we prioritize self-care, we rejuvenate our spirits and become better equipped to help others. Think of it as securing your own oxygen mask before assisting others.

Activity Time!

Reflect on your self-care routines with these prompts:

• Physical Self-Care: How do you nurture your body? This could be through exercise, balanced meals, or enough sleep.

• Emotional Self-Care: How do you process and express your feelings? Consider journaling, therapy, or heart-to-heart conversations.

• Mental Self-Care: What activities stimulate and relax your mind? This can range from reading to meditation or puzzles.

• Spiritual Self-Care: How do you connect with your inner self or a higher power? Explore practices like prayer, nature walks, or meditation.

• Social Self-Care: How often do you connect with loved ones? Social connections rejuvenate us, whether a call to a friend or a family gathering.

• Sensory Self-Care: Engage your senses! Think about activities like listening to music, aromatherapy, or watching the sunset.

• Practical Self-Care: How do you manage your daily life and reduce potential stressors? This includes financial planning, decluttering, or time management.

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Identifying what resonates with you and integrating it into your routine ensures that you’re regularly watering your internal garden. Here are a few more exercises for practice.

1. Reflect on your current self-care. Are there areas where they could be stronger?

2. List three self-care activities you’ll commit to this week.

3. Identify one self-care activity you wish to communicate better and plan for how you’ll do it.

4. Take the time to reflect on the following statements. Think about whether any of them resonate with you. This is an example of a self-love contract. We recommend taking the time to create one for yourself and return to it once a week.

Remember, just as gardens need fences (boundaries) and care (self-care) to thrive, so do we. Consider taking some time next week to re-visit the exercises from this issue. The more you practice, the better you build the habit of these skills and further deepen your resilience and self-awareness. There are recommended resources on the next page for books you can read for more guidance and an essential oil you can try to become serene and soothed.

The next two blogs will include a check-in to round out our discussions on the topics of self-awareness, resilience, boundaries, and self-care and an

introduction to the topic of imposter phenomenon and how easily we doubt our own amazing abilities. See you next time!