A Season of Gentle Reflection: Navigating Grief During the Holidays
- Year of You Staff
- May 30, 2025
- 5 min read
As the year winds down, the world outside might become adorned with festive lights, cheerful melodies, and endless gatherings, but for some, the holiday season brings a subtle melancholy. For them, each twinkling light and joyful tune evokes memories of someone who isn't there, filling their hearts not with warmth, but with bittersweet longing. Like a shadow, grief has a way of intensifying during moments meant for cheer and togetherness. Old traditions resurface in the flicker of candlelight or the scent of evergreen, and the weight of absence is felt even more acutely.
Grief doesn't fit into a neat holiday package. It can take many forms, sometimes surprising, other times overwhelming. A favorite holiday song might bring an unexpected wave of sorrow; an ornament, laugh, or faint scent of a familiar dish could elicit cherished memories just out of reach. Loneliness can set in even when surrounded by loved ones. Subtle currents of anxiety can wash over the heart in regular intervals, a reminder of the emotional fortitude it takes to make it through the season. Grief is deeply personal and unpredictable, and just as there's no right way to experience the holidays, there's no correct way to grieve. However, we can still try to work with this complex process to identify what we might enjoy during the holiday season and learn how we want to be present as the year ends.
Understanding the Complexity of Holiday Grief
Grief is as complex as it is personal. Everyone experiences it differently, and the holidays can be both a source of cherished memories and a sharp reminder of absence. Whether it's your first season without a loved one or the tenth, grief often surfaces in unexpected ways. These feelings can be complicated to process during a season marked by joy, togetherness, and traditions.
You might experience holiday grief through:
Overwhelming Emotions: Sudden waves of sadness or longing might arise when you hear a holiday song or see familiar decorations.
Loneliness: Even in the company of others, feeling detached or disconnected can be common.
Anxiety or Dread: The thought of "making it through" the festivities without feeling broken can bring its own layer of stress.
For those feeling the void of loss during this time, it's important to grant yourself the grace to feel whatever emotions that present themselves. Permission to step back, to reflect, or even to turn away from the festivities is a powerful act of self-compassion. Honor your feelings as they are, not as they're expected to be. Whether that means lighting a candle in remembrance or choosing a quiet night over a crowded gathering, give yourself the space to move through this season as you need.
Finding ways to navigate holiday grief is challenging, but small, gentle steps can ease the journey. For some, creating new traditions can provide solace by acknowledging what has changed while making space for new ways to honor cherished memories. Perhaps this means setting a place at the table or taking a peaceful walk in their memory. Finding solace in a supportive community—friends, family, or a grief support group—can also provide an understanding presence when loneliness looms too large.
Navigating the Holidays with Gentle Care
Above all, be kind to yourself. Grief is as exhausting as it is unpredictable, and self-care is essential. To support yourself during this time, here are a few practical ways to help manage holiday grief:
Set Boundaries with Social Engagements
Consider each invitation carefully. Only commit to gatherings where you feel emotionally ready, and remember it's okay to prioritize your own well-being.
Create New Traditions
Familiar traditions may be painful without your loved one. Explore new traditions that allow you to honor their memory gently—lighting a candle, donating to a cause they cared about, or taking a mindful walk.
Seek Solace in Community
If isolation overwhelms you, reach out to groups or friends who can empathize. A grief support group can offer a safe space to connect with others experiencing similar feelings.
Engage in Self-Care
Take care of yourself in small, nurturing ways. Grief can be physically and emotionally exhausting, so set aside time for activities that replenish you, like journaling, mindfulness, or light movement.
Honor Their Memory
Acknowledge your loved one's absence in a meaningful way if it brings comfort. You might choose to share stories, look through old photos, or make their favorite holiday dish.
Reach Out for Professional Help When Needed
The holiday season can be overwhelming, so don't hesitate to seek the support of a counselor or therapist if you need it. Reaching out is a courageous and positive step toward healing.
You're Not Alone
During the holidays, it's easy to feel isolated in your grief, particularly when the world seems so festive. But you're not alone. Friends, family, or professionals are there to walk this journey with you, reminding you that you don't have to face this season alone.
As you go through these final months of the year, may you find moments of peace and warmth. Embrace whatever emotions arise, take each day at your own pace, and remember to show yourself kindness. This season, let gentleness be your guiding light.
Dr. Erica
If you or someone you know is struggling with grief and would like to speak with someone, here are a few resources you can consider:
Grief & Mental Health Apps:
1. Grief Works App (Available on iOS and Android)
A therapeutic app offering tools and resources designed by bereavement experts to support those dealing with grief
2. Calm (Available on iOS and Android)
A mindfulness app that offers meditations and resources to help with sleep, anxiety, and overall well-being
It can be beneficial for those experiencing the emotional overwhelm that accompanies grief
3. Headspace (Available on iOS and Android)
Another mindfulness and meditation app with specific programs designed to address grief, stress, and emotional resilience.
Grief Support for Diverse Communities
Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective (BEAM) (beam.community)
A Black-led organization focused on creating culturally-relevant mental health support for Black communities.
It is explicitly designed for LGBTQ+ individuals to provide a supportive environment that acknowledges unique challenges such as loss within chosen families or coping with rejection from biological families.
Latinx Therapy provides access to therapists who understand the cultural nuances of grief within the Latinx community. They also offer workshops, support groups, and a directory for finding therapists on culturally competent mental health care.
A hotline and resource hub offering emotional and financial support to transgender people in crisis, including those dealing with grief. While not solely focused on grief, Trans Lifeline provides peer support from transgender individuals who understand the unique grief experiences within the trans community.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - Dial 988 (Available 24/7)
This helpline offers immediate support for those in deep distress and can guide people through difficult emotions, including grief.
Crisis Text Line - Text HOME to 741741
A free, 24/7 confidential text support for people in crisis, including those dealing with grief and loss.
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